When I was younger, I was deeply involved in my church. So deeply that I believe I may one day step into a theological leadership role and become an evangelist. That season of my life gave me a wealth of knowledge about myself, and it helped shape the kind of reflection that eventually made writing my book possible.
But this piece is about something else.
It is about leadership boundary rules, and I still remember one moment with surprising clarity.
I was about 14 or 15, sitting in a car with a mentor. We were talking about a public leader who had been caught in an affair and had “fallen from grace.” I was young and honestly trying to understand how those collapses happen. My mentor listened, then gave me advice that has stayed with me for decades.
He said, “When you’re a leader, keep your hands off three things.”
He meant it literally and as a mindset. The three things were simple to remember, and hard to practice:
The power.
The people.
The money.
Leadership Boundary Rules Start When No One Is Watching
What struck me then, and what still strikes me now, is that the most significant leadership failures rarely start with a dramatic headline moment. They start small. They start privately. They begin when a leader quietly decides they deserve something extra, something hidden, something outside the rules everyone else lives by.
That is why leadership boundary rules matter. They are not for “bad people.” They are for normal people who wake up one day and realize their role has given them access, influence, and options they did not have before.
Keep Your Hands Off the Power
Power is influence. Sometimes it is obvious, like a big title. Sometimes it is subtle, like being the person everyone defers to in meetings, or the one whose approval decides what happens next.
Power does something to people if they do not treat it with care. I have watched good people change once they get authority. Their tone changes. Their patience shortens. Their certainty grows. They start assuming the rules are flexible for them and fixed for everyone else.
“Touching the power” is what happens when you bond your identity to control. You stop leading with responsibility and start leading with entitlement. You start believing you are owed more than you have, even if you already have plenty.
Keep Your Hands Off the People
This overlaps with power, but it is more personal.
“Touching the people” is using the trust that comes with leadership to manipulate, pressure, or control others for your own benefit. It can be obvious, like retaliation against someone who disagrees with you. It can be quiet, like playing favorites, engineering outcomes behind the scenes, or using proximity to leadership as a weapon.
The moment you start seeing people as tools, the role has already begun to corrupt you.
Healthy leadership boundary rules require a consistent internal question: Am I acting in the best interests of the person, the team, and the mission, or in the best interests of my ego?
Keep Your Hands Off the Money
Money is often the fastest path to disgrace because it is measurable and traceable. Leadership roles usually come with access to budgets, approvals, expenses, perks, and exceptions.
“Touching the money” is not only theft. It is treating organizational resources like personal resources. It is rationalizing little moves because “I work hard,” or “I deserve it,” or “no one will notice.” It is forgetting that money represents the combined effort, trust, and contribution of many people, even in a private business.
Even if you own the organization, money can still become a liability if you handle it carelessly, manage it poorly, or use it in ways that create legal, ethical, or reputational risk.
Why Headlines Like Epstein’s Case Trigger This Memory
I am not interested in making this political or speculating about individuals. But when major scandals surface, especially ones involving abuse enabled by wealth and influence, they highlight a disturbing pattern: people with power often try to build spaces where consequences cannot reach them.
That is the opposite of leadership boundary rules.
These scandals are a reminder that “distance from the organization” does not equal “distance from accountability.” People sometimes use money, connections, and status to create privacy, insulation, and secrecy, then convince themselves that it is separate from who they are in public. That separation is an illusion. Eventually, the truth catches up, and the damage spreads far beyond the individuals involved.
The Takeaway For Everyday Leaders
Most of us will never face temptation at that extreme. Still, the same leadership boundary rules apply in the moments that actually shape culture:
- How you speak to the people who report to you
- How you handle conflict when your authority could crush someone
- How you manage resources when no one is checking closely
- How you carry influence without letting it reshape your character
Stay humble. Treat leadership like stewardship. Act like your role is borrowed, because it is.
Explore more leadership and product clarity posts from The Cintman Group. How do you handle moments like this in your work? Share your thoughts below, I’d love to hear from other PMs.
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